Before a young couple gets married, it’s common for people who have been married for decades to “warn” them about marriage. You will often hear things such as “So, you don’t want to be happy anymore?” or “Are you sure you want to do this? It’s not too late to back out!”… but you rarely hear people actually brag about their marriage. Why is this? Is marriage really that bad?
No, in fact, marriage is intended to be a blessing from God!
The problem is when we try to do marriage our way and expect good results. We see marriages shown by Hollywood and subconsciously apply their concepts to our marriage. But one thing is for sure… God’s way is always best!
Here are Three Ways to Improve Your Marriage…
All around the world, marriages are struggling and falling short of their true potential. Sadly, for a vast majority of these marriages, the reason they are struggling is the same… they either don’t involve God in the marriage or they treat God like a life line when times get tough. To have a healthy marriage, we need to not only include God but we need to make Him our top priority!
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” – Genesis 2:18
We need to realize that marriage is created and designed by God. Therefore, if you want to experience the blessings of marriage as God intended, you need to do it with Him! Here are a few great ways to include God in your marriage…
Trust me… these aren’t easy things to start doing if you aren’t used to it (speaking from experience). Starting out, it will feel awkward to read the Bible with your spouse and even more awkward to pray out loud with each other. You probably won’t read too much at first and your prayers won’t last long… but it’s a start! You will never regret reading your Bible, praying, or attending church faithfully with your spouse!
If you sit around and wait for your spouse to meet your needs, you will be one unhappy individual. Unfortunately, this is how too many marriages operate around the world. This mindset is why so many marriages are struggling. Marriage is not about your spouse providing for your needs… marriage is about you providing your spouse’s needs.
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33
You will find, that if you go out of your way to provide for your spouse (not just financially), they will go out of their way to provide for you. That’s how love works! Love isn’t a feeling… it’s a choice! The reason newlyweds are so happy is because they spend their days looking for ways to make their spouse happy. They get them small gifts of appreciation throughout the week. They find out what they like and they do their best to provide that for them!
A big reason that marriages are struggling, to be frank, is because couples have become complacent. They are no longer trying to impress each other, getting each other small gifts, or spending as much time with each other. They become satisfied with their current situation and, as a result, they no longer try. For many husbands, if they gave their job the amount of effort that they give their marriage, they’d be fired!
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” – Ephesians 4:29
Compliment your spouse! Brag about your spouse to others! Tell them how much you love them (they need to hear it)! Go out and find a way to be a blessing to your spouse everyday!
You show me where you spend your time and I will show you what’s the most important to you. When you get home from work, what do you do? Do you go straight to the TV? Do you look for people to hang out with? What do you do? If you desire to build any good relationship, communication and time together is absolutely necessary.
“The key is not to prioritize your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” – Stephen Covey
If you want to improve your marriage, how you prioritize you time should reflect that. Once you get married, you are not just two individuals living in the same house, but one flesh! That means that our mindset needs to change from being single to being married. Wives should talk to their husbands about problems they are dealing with… not just their friends. Husbands should keep open communication with their wives… not keep everything to themselves. Spouses need to lean on each other during hard times.
If you don’t communicate on a regular basis (not just small talk), your relationship will ultimately begin to fail. The people that you communicate with the most are generally the people that you have the best relationship with… that’s not a coincidence! You want to improve your marriage? Prioritize your time around your spouse and make an effort to talk to each other regularly.
Don’t be satisfied with a bad marriage… God designed marriage to be a blessing! Having an amazing marriage is possible for every couple… but it requires some work! We need to prioritize God, prioritize our spouse’s needs, and prioritize our time to ensure that our marriage has the chance to thrive that it deserves!
Husband, Father of two beautiful girls, Assistant Pastor at Hillcrest Bible Baptist Church in Arkansas City, KS, Founder of Baptist Manna